Now let’s clear things up straight away. The football team I support is my local team Queen of the South. I’ve followed them since I was 6 years old and always will. My ‘wee’ team are Manchester United. This is because my Dad, Eric, was a big fan of George Best, one of the best footballers of all time. I’ve only been to Old Trafford once, thanks to a birthday present from my wife, in 2017, to see them beat Chelsea 2-0, but, can say I’ve hardly missed a live game in years. Add in the fact the 57 millionth best blog in the world has written classic soccer stories before, it was no surprise when no one asked me to write a review of yesterdays win over West Brom. But. I’m going to anyway……..

There were the usual rumours on formation before the game. In the end Ole plumped for the following……

But, wait a minute…..where was Paul Pogba? The darling of a World Cup Final sometime in the distant past, but, recently, he’s made even Fred look good. Well, I can exclusively reveal Paul wasn’t in the team as he’d fallen asleep at the hairdressers getting a World Cup star engraved on the side of his head.

With Pogba being replaced by Matic, it was never going to be the fastest team going forward. This gave West Brom, like many teams this season, the chance to have tea and scones and regroup in a 5-4-1 formation before De Gea releases the ball.

Before Paul nodded off, Matic obviously hadn’t expected to play, confirmed by this shot of him shopping twenty minutes before kick off……….

As I continued to look for reasons why Man Utd start games slowly, sometimes not even starting for the full 90 minutes, my detective work started to pay off. Now, I think Marcus Rashford is great. Great ambassador for kids off the pitch and a great player on the pitch. Against Leipzig in the Champions League the other week he scored a hat-trick in 16 minutes and even handed a penalty to Tony Martial. What a man he’s turning out to be! However, I’ve discovered why he sometimes looks tired and why Fernandes is also having an off day. Marcus has TWO jobs and has dragged Fernandes in to help him on Saturday mornings….

Yes….I found Marcus working in Tesco’s yesterday morning. He was unloading a lorry only 3 hours before kick off. As you can also see from the picture below, two minutes later Bruno appears and was filling a food aid van just round the corner. Great work guys….but no wonder you’re both knackered sometimes. 😂😂😂😂

Anthony Martial is also one who shows flashes of brilliance in some games, but, yesterday he fluffed a great chance in front of goal, nearly scored with a header, but, other than that, he didn’t stand out as someone who was going to dement the West Brom defence……and I think I may have discovered why….his fitness coach isn’t that fit himself…..

Fred is another enigma. He runs and runs and runs and passes and passes and passes, but, he can’t hit a barn door from 20 feet sometimes. Yesterday, as you can see below, he was closely marked all game by three West Brom midfielders, constantly distracting him and snuffing his creativity.

Although he didn’t get caught out this way yesterday, I also discovered why sometimes Fred loses the ball just outside the Man Utd box, leaving De Gea to pick the ball out of the net on more than one occasion. It’s not because De Gea throws the ball so hard it nearly knocks him off his feet, nor is it because he’s only 4ft 6″ tall, it hits him in the neck. No…..slow motion cameras reveal what Fred’s been doing in the femtosecond before he receives the ball………….

Yes, he’s adding to his Instagram story mid match……… 😂😀

Oh, right, back to the match report. West Brom hit the bar and Fernandes won a boring match scoring a retaken penalty after the former Man Utd player, Sam Johnstone leapt off his line about five minutes after Fernandes had started his intricate run up.

3 points in the baggies there you have it.

Paul Pogba did wake up in time to take part in the match. Here he is celebrating the win.

There you have it, the most detailed accurate review of a game you’ll ever read. Remember, Football isn’t Football without fans and don’t take it too seriously. It’s only a game 🙂

‘Manchester United 1 West Brom 0’ was brought to you by David Linden aka @qosfc1919 on Twitter ⚽️ ©️ Dodo Productions 2020