Premier League teams are allowed three strips per season. However teams are allowed one more for the champions league. International diva and fashion icon, Ichea de Boudoir, who was chosen to design the new CL strip said ‘ I was so pleased to be asked to do this as I know nothing about football and had never heard of Manchester United’ . Mason Mount was chosen to model the new 4th strip which will be unveiled at tomorrow nights game.

The strip drew comments from some of the players………

‘ Very comfortable’

‘ i hope its not muddy’

‘ Even if we lose we’ll look good’

Marcus Incentive

With only one goal to his name this season Marcus Rashford has been looking for ways to motivate his touch in front of goal. He has now set himself a target of a goal for every luxury car he owns ( minus the three quarter of a million rolls Royce he crashed a couple of weeks ago)

SET PIECES

To improve United’s set piece to goals ratio United’s attack coaches have been working closely with the players on pre-planned corner and free kick routines. One of the attack coaches said ‘ we’ve been coaching the players to be more innovative with their plays as to be honest we’ve been absolute ****’

The players then demonstrated one of the new corner moves nicknamed the ‘huddle jump & mount’

ANTONY MIND GAMES

Brazilian star Antony has also been struggling for goals. Last season pundits suggested moving the goalposts in training a bit to the left so Antony would stop putting the ball exactly a foot wide during actual games.

This season he’s teamed up with mind expert Uri Geller to use the power of the mind to help Antony score. Below we see Antony practicing a power move…..

AFTER LIFE AT UNITED

United have been trialling a new player training programme to give new skills to players where it hasn’t quite worked out on the football pitch. Below we see Tony Martial training to be a chef.

Lastly United’s new goalkeeper has been linked with a part in the new spiderman film ‘Caught in the Web’