I thought it would be relevant with the World Cup on in Brazil (even if we are not in it 😥) to throw a short football story into the mix. My football talents are, in my mind, legendary. I’ve always modestly said if i hadn’t worn spectacles i could have gone beyond Sunday League 2nd division all the way probably to the Sunday League First Division. 😉 Instead, having been ordered by referees three times to remove my glasses in games , I gave up my football dreams for ever……… *wipes tear from eye*.
Not all was lost though, as I was eventually able to ditch the specs for contact lenses, by which time we had an amateur summer league side on the go. Now i know that’s hardly the Bernabau on El Classico matchday, but at least I hadn’t bitten anyone yet……

So, picture the scene. We’re playing a Farmer’s pub league side on a beautiful little secluded pitch just outside a lovely little village on the outskirts of Dumfries. We’d a good side out (including as I can now reveal a couple of ‘ringers’) so, we were confident of a win. It was a dry day, no wind, we were all fit and raring to go.

So, in front of our manager, a small boy and a dog, we kicked off playing up the slope. Although we had all the ball, at half-time we found ourselves 1-0 down. We were not despondent though. Kicking down the slope, our skill and intelligent play would surely see us through.

We kicked off the second half and it wasn’t long before we went 2-0 down. Heads were beginning to go down in disbelief. Only the week before we’d beaten the Electricity Board 5-3. What on the planet earth was happening. We pulled a goal back , then astonishingly we gave away a penalty. 3-1. Three bloody one down to pubfull of farmers. 😥

I swapped wings, and, we would have brought a sub on if we’d had any.

I asked the ref ‘How long to go?’

’10 minutes’

There was still time…… 👀

I crossed the ball into the area. Suddenly the ball broke to Dougie Nish, he mishit it perfectly, it was 3-2

Frantically we pummelled the now packed Farmers defence.

‘How long to go’

‘One minute plus injury time’ 😳

Then, suddenly………we got a corner…….the ball was curled into the mix. Who knows who got the last touch….who cares…..the ball was nestling in the back of the net like a sleeping baby. We’d done it.We’d rescued the game in it’s dying breath. 3-3. Not the result we expected, but hats off to the other team for surprising us. 👏

Then it happened…..in life most people get their 15 minutes of fame……this was my day. I stood just inside my own half as the now sullen Farmers team kicked off. The ball went back to their keeper and he launched it up the pitch. As i waited for the final whistle, the ball soared towards me. Down it came, landing a few metres away. It took a low bounce and continued it’s almost cruise missile like path towards me. I looked at it. It looked at me. We looked at each other. We smiled.

Standing in my own half, I launched it back to from whence it came. Up towards the clouds it went, and then, following the parabolic rules of maths as well as the laws of gravity, it headed back to earth. Their goalie was now staring at it. He was now stepping back into his penalty area. He was now backtracking faster than an Italian tank.  🇮🇹 He was now panicking. He was now reaching up. He was now falling back into his goalmouth. He was now staring at the ball in the back of his net. He……had just witnessed the greatest goal ever scored on that pitch…and…it was me who had scored it. My time had come. Forget all the four eyed knock backs, all the disappointments of not being able to dribble past professional defences, score the winner in the Scottish Cup Final or lift the World Cup…..my moment had arrived. Forget Beckham. Linden had scored from his own half to win the game 4-3 with the last kick. ⚽️ 😀 🎉

My team rushed towards me, looking just as astonished as i was. As i left the pitch to ‘bloody hell Dave where did that come from’ and ‘amazing you spawny git’, our manager (my friend Iain) let out an expletive.

I said ‘why are you swearing?’

‘Because I’ll never hear the end of that goal til the day I die……..’

………….and, he was right…….a legend was born 🙂

#SoccerShorts – A Legend Is Born was brought to you by @qosfc1919 on Twitter and Dodo Productions ©. ⚽️⚽️